Hi there. Sometime ago, I received a message from a viewer with a request for me to compile all my “Nur-isms” in one place. I went through thousands of tweets and years of Facebook posts to find them. What I concluded is, you all are really special people for sticking around to read the musings of this peculiar mind.
There are quotes, short stories, and a few question/answer bits at the end. I included anything that might be remotely resourceful. And I tried to organize them, but I’m an artist and artists do just fine with organized messes. Anyone buy that excuse? I see all your hands are up. Excellent.
Final note that these are all authored by me. Anytime I post anything that is not my own work, I list the author so you can find the source. I hope you find peace and perspective somewhere between these lines.
If I could truly embrace mediocrity, I wouldn’t have to make any decisions because fear would make all my decisions for me.
Happiness is not a life devoid of troubles, it is a chosen state despite them.
Apathy for life is the prerequisite to mediocrity in life.
Life’s too short and unpredictable to shrink or bloom by the light of others. We have to find a way to make the light ourselves.
Whatever it is that you fear the most, has the power to teach you the most.
Doesn’t matter if that guy or that girl likes you or not. What’s more important is, do you like yourself?
Doubt fuels the determined and deters the halfhearted.
Mediocrity: comfortable right here instead of working towards an achievable happy. Stay uncomfortable- it means you’re doing something right.
Life is a delicate balance between calculated strategy and deliberate indifference. Sometimes, indifference is the strategy.
If happiness is a choice and we make decisions based on all the available options, what alternative could be a better choice than happiness?
The biggest obstacle to happiness is frivolous emotions. Seems obvious, right? But we are the ones that make our happiness contingent. If x, y or z happens, then we’ll be happy. Sometimes it does and we’re happy….temporarily. Then we find another stipulation to fixate on. And another. And another. The best thing we can do is practice healthy emotional detachment. Your own mind is the disease and the cure. Master your mind, master your emotions, master your life.
What differentiates those who are morally good from those who are not, is not merely the ability to discern between right and wrong. It is knowing the right thing to do and having the courage to do it.
Too often we spend too much time, energy and emotion fighting the natural progression, or disintegration, of things in our life.
Sometimes we have to shelf our pride because it prevents us from admitting our flaws and leading us to our pinnacle in life.
Frustration is motivation. A pearl starts as a tiny irritant & an oyster turns it into a gem. You determine what is an obstacle and what is an opportunity.
In times of turmoil, there’s a difference between asking “Why?” and “Why me?” One leads you to better understanding; the other cripples you with emotion.
People forgo kindness for fear of looking weak, when in truth, those who are truly kind are replete with strength.
Don’t attach yourself to the things in life that you can’t control. That much you can control.
Sometimes, even good things come to an end to make room for new and better things.
People want you to stay mediocre, not because it’s good for you, but because it’s good for them.
You are always responsible for the peace that you seek to feel.
Be the worst version of yourself by comparing yourself to others. Be the best version of yourself by comparing yourself to you.
Character is not in words, but actions; not heard, seen; not intended, fulfilled; not promised, proven.
Courage does not alienate you. It repels those who fear the unveiling of their dark truths. For that, be grateful.
Don’t ask for advice if what you’re really looking for is an echo.
Indifference is the tool of the wise; anger, the demise of the fool.
Think of your relationships in life as a business deal. Would you go into business with someone who lies, is irresponsible or makes you feeling anything less than capable? No? Then don’t date them or be friends with them. Why do we protect our financial interests more than we protect our heart?
It is a privilege to be my friend and an honor to be my enemy. I carefully choose who belongs in one, the other, or neither.
Reciprocity is the best rubric for any relationship. Get what you give and give what you receive. Or, get out. Friends, lovers, business.
Sometimes, I want to slap the sheep out of people. Do not follow, LEAD. When someone says ‘baa’ you damn well ROAR back.
Great friends aren’t an accident of fate or luck or timing. Let go of those who don’t deserve your friendship to make room for old friends and new friends who do.
I’m not the jealous type. I’m the ‘I respect you and I expect you to respect me too’ type.
The way we shop: read and watch a hundred reviews to make sure it’s not a bad purchase.
The way we date and choose friends: is this person breathing?! I’ll take ’em!
And the irony is….you can return/sell the crap you buy, but you can’t recoup the time you waste on someone or erase the damage they do.
Why doesn’t karma have an expedited shipping option? YES, I would like to pay an exorbitant amount of money to deliver karma overnight.
Next time someone says “You’re pretty/nice/funny/smart/
Why am I single? I am single because I CHOOSE to be single. I am single because my standards are high and my tolerance for mediocrity is low. I am single because I hold my values in the highest esteem. I am single because other people do not define me, I define myself. Other people do not complete me, I am whole. No one is else is the “missing puzzle piece”, I am a puzzle like you’ve never seen before. My self-worth is not determined by whether a man of MY choice stands beside me, but the love, generosity and compassion I can offer the world endlessly. I am single because I CHOOSE to be single.
Don’t forget to smile 🙂
I went on a date a while ago where the guy and I ended up on this tangent talking about life and how some people just get it and some people don’t. We start trading literature recommendations and he suggests I read what I heard as “Allegory of the Cake”. DID YOU SAY CAKE? I NEED NO FURTHER CONVINCING.
He texts me a few days later to ask if I’d had the chance to read “Allegory of the CAVE” ……annnnnd like a deflated balloon, I said no, not yet.
Well, I did end up reading Plato’s “Allegory of the Cave” and I loved it. Highly recommend you take a moment to see what you get out of it.
Also, because I’m Arab and I said the word cave, Homeland Security is now likely monitoring this post. For some strange reason, people take issue with Arabs in caves.
I’m not mad at guys who act like boys. I’m disappointed in the girls they “date” that teach them everything about dating a girl and nothing about dating a woman.
My dad’s advice on what to do with someone you like, but they’re disrupting your quality of life: “Put them on the back burner…and let them cook!”
I love zombies!
I’ve totally been the smart ass in my group of friends that jokes about the zombie apocalypse and what I’d do to survive. If you’ve watched enough of those shows or movies, you’ve definitely made a rough mental survival plan while screeching at your TV, “Cut his head off, DAMN IT!” Who am I kidding though, I’m only surviving if zombies decide they need a beauty makeover: “Why yes, I have enough concealer for the under-eye circles of a small zombie nation! Line up and no biting, please. And stop moaning. I can’t focus enough to blend properly with all that noise.” (<– Don’t even THINK about stealing my survival plan.)
But seriously, the idea can be scary, right? People who walk around mindlessly doing things they don’t really care about. Not being able to think about anything but survival, and hurting other people to do it. Becoming devoid of life and individuality through infection. A creature that doesn’t even sleep because its insatiable appetite leaves no room for rest and it has a mind that can’t appreciate any other pleasure in life. Truly, a corpse in motion without a valuable purpose.
You got it, didn’t you? It’s not impending doom that we jokingly need to prepare for, it’s already here. The infection is misery, mediocrity, conformity and selfishness all because they are easier than happiness, ambition, individuality and empathy. It’s like all these zombie stories are one big parable of our reality.
But I’m not evil enough to leave you hanging there. The good news is if all those things are the infection, the cure is simply making a different choice. So….choose wisely.
We exist because we’re alive. We co-exist when we understand others.
The less you care about the trivial opinions of others, the more confidence you have. And vice versa. What stays consistent is that this is always a choice. Make a decision that tips the scale in your favor.
Those who stray from the norm with courage, pioneer a path of hope for others.
Take a chance. There’s a possibility that reality will exceed your expectations. And that alone makes it worth the risk.
The more time, energy and speech you give a topic, the more you actualize it. People accept this for positive things in life and forget that it applies to negative things too. Pick a couple good people to act as sounding boards, air your misery then stop talking about it. If you stop talking about it, you’ll stop thinking about it. If you stop thinking about it, you’ll stop feeling it.
Question from viewer: I have a question, relating to equality and women. I have really big dreams and ambitions for life, I want to have a career and be very successful in my life. This seems to get crashed constantly by cultural and societal factors. This is due to the inequality many women face including me. You are such an inspiration to me, how do I do what you are doing? You are so positive and enthusiastic about life!! And I want to know how despite hard circumstances. Women are conditioned to believe from a very young age that their role in life is to be a mother and a wife at home, and I do believe in that but I don’t want it to be my occupation. It’s not as simple as doing what you want really! I want to encompass marriage etc into my life but how do I deal with all the external pressures? And how do I I’ve made the right decision without others having frustration towards me!! Thank you so much Nur!
My response: I’m going to keep this light and I definitely want others to chime in, especially because my demographic is mostly women.
One sentence pretty much sums up my sentiment: I just don’t give a sh*t. Generally speaking, I have a ‘live and let live’ philosophy about life. You do what’s important to you and I’ll do what’s important to me. However you define success is entirely up to you. The only thing I ask of you is to not look down on someone who doesn’t define it similarly. It’s a very basic understanding that human beings are complex creatures and what we each individually value is going to be different for a myriad of reasons.
I’ve never cared much for the general consensus on matters that have, well, little to do with the general consensus. I learned a long time ago that if I want to be my absolute best, the worst thing I can do is use the masses as a reference point. My potential for whatever I want to do in life is not relative. People can be so mediocre, why would I adopt a standard that’s less than what I KNOW I’m capable of? So however you want to do it, it can be done.
Support group time. I know how you feel. I’ve seen my friends look at me with sadness and confusion as I explain that I’ve never planned my own wedding in my head. That I’m not afraid of being alone. That I can talk business with my guy friends for hours and I’d rather do that than gossip or dissect texts from men (last thing he texted was a smiley face exactly 5.9 seconds ago; what on earth does that mean?! OMG.HE.HATES.ME.) You’d think I told them I had 3 months left to live. At which point, I have to do the understanding for both of us. I understand that they don’t get it and I understand that they want something different and that’s perfectly ok. I mean, what’s my other option, to change their mind? I’m not wasting time or energy on things I can’t control. Here’s the funny thing- women make other women feel bad about this stuff far more than men do. It goes both ways: What do you mean you’re just a stay-at-home mom? What do you mean you went back to work before your child could walk? And every other conceivable variation of a condescending remark they think is cleverly disguised as a question. Get a new hobby because bored wench isn’t one. I think we’d all do much better to let people live as they please.
I say to hell with external pressures and judgmental people. This is it, the one life you’re living now and the clock is ticking. Changing the opinions of people who don’t really matter, when you should be living life to your fullest potential, is wasted time. What’s the point in changing the course of the herd if the herd doesn’t affect the outcome? This is a trivial matter; not one regarding civil rights or humanitarianism or war. Be strong in your resolve and do whatever makes you happy. I beg you to pave your own way because someone, somewhere will look to you to give them hope when you open up their world of possibility. And who knows, one day that someone may very well be your own daughter. Lots of love! xo
Question from viewer: Is it worth it to stay with a guy who never shows or says that he loves me, doesn’t want to live together, doesn’t plan family in general, treats me not well most of the time, but helps in everything whenever I need his help, and says he “likes me and likes to spend time with me”? And half a year ago he fell in love with a girl while dating me, but he didn’t cheat physically as she is from another country and they couldn’t be together, he said that he still wants to date with me.
My response: Deep breath. OK, I never ever tell people what to do, as I am not a puppet master. With that in mind, LEAVE HIM NOW.
Instead of talking about him, let’s talk about you. How do you feel that he fell in love with another girl while dating you? And if she wasn’t in another country and more accessible to him, that he’d rather be with her than with you? Emotionally cheating is no less a relationship crime than physically cheating. You’ve clearly been together for some time if that happened a year and a half ago. You’re accepting yourself as second best every single day that you stay with him. Some women can’t differentiate between being treated well or not, but you know he’s not treating you well.
If you’re looking for permission to leave him, I permit you! This is going to sound strange, but start thinking of all the things he’s shown you about himself and be thankful. Be eternally grateful that you don’t live together, that you aren’t married and that you don’t have children with him. It makes it easy to move on. Stop denying yourself the happiness you deserve. And when you leave him, don’t jump into another man’s arms. Take some time to heal yourself, recharge your spirit and learn to love yourself so that you may never force yourself to endure that agony again. Be fearless; the resiliency we’re capable of as human beings is remarkable. Everything WILL be ok. Lots of love!